The new Joker and why we should all be terrified.

Photo taken from Filmdrunk

Spotted this new pic of Heath Ledger's Joker from the upcoming Batman flick. All I can say is that this has reaffirmed my concerns about this new version of the classic Batman villain.

Batman Begins was a great movie, a fantastic effort that grabbed the retarded embarrassing George Clooney Batman out of the air and firmly planted them into reality, in the same way that Frank Miller did in Batman: Year one. Which is still one of my favorite comics by the way, if you haven't read it, git it.

What these two versions of Batman did is attempt to rationalise all of Batman's stupid shit. For example: Bat-a-rang grapple hook is now hardcore mountain climbing gear. Batmobile is now an experimental military vehicle. Why is he so tough? Ninjas got him high and beat the shit out of him. It all makes sense.

So if I liked all the things that Batman Begins did, why am I so afraid of the new Joker?

In comic book land, a clown who regularly kills people and laughs his ass off about it, is kind of played out. Homicidal clown=cough. Now try and put a real world Begins/Year one spin on it. Oh sweet mother of gumdrops, you have some serious fucking horror on your hands.

You can't make a real-life Joker without making him fucking terrifying. Tyler punching that blonde kid in the face terrifying.

Mark my words, you will not like this Joker, in the same way you liked the Jack Nicholson Joker.

-Brother N-

Dumb peasants and Pot bitches

I picked up Assassin's Creed this week, and by some god given divinity, my 360 was returned to me 2 hours later in the mail (along with a comped month of live, Cheers!) .

3 or so hours in, and so far I'm digging the dusty dusty place. I'm yet to feel the reported repetition of the missions, but I don't actually think I'm going to be effected by it. I have some kind of different brain wave pattern to the standard gamer, which allows me to perform the exact same task, ad nauseam. See; Animal Crossing.

A few complaints. First is no biggie, I quite like the way the crowd responds to you doing weird shit, start running and you may get "Why is he running, Is somebody chasing him?" Makes sense.

So what do they say when I scale a building faster than a cocaine-fueled spider monkey? "I don't see any reason for him to do that". *cough* A tad dry. How bout "WOAH! Did you see that shit! WOAH FUCK! Goats of mercy!"

My second is the Pot Bitches. These chics might as well have a fucking siren on their head instead. They are walking landmines, set to 'aimlessly wander and change course for no reason'. So you can be the blendingest blender in a sea of anonymity, but you brush past one of these hopeless tarts, they instantly drop their shit, shattering it, causing a MOB of people to run up to you and berate you about your idiotic clumsiness. THAT WAS A POT YOU FUCKING BASTARD!

When your ONLY job in the world is to carry a fucking pot through a crowd, you better make damn sure you can CARRY THE FUCKING POT THROUGH A FUCKING CROWD.

And don't get all indignant with me, pot bitch, just because you can't do your fucking job.

More on this one when I'm a bit further in.

-Brother N-

The dreaded back log

I decided to call Microsoft to find out where abouts my 360 was in the 'glue on a new heat sink' line and when I should be getting it back. To my surprise, it had already fixed and was in transit. Awesome news, no?

New dilemma; I now face 'The Back Log'.

November is known for it's total unrelenting release schedule bastardry, and having over a week away has left me with a daunting and somewhat sad situation. Some of these games, will have to be left behind like a puppy in the rain.

I see you there Mass Effect, staring at me with you big, well rendered, creepily real eyes. And you too Ass Creed (heheh), Call of duty 4 and what about poor little Gordan? I promised him that I'd finally finish Half Life 2. Pooor little Gordon. All vying for my attention, why struggling to get TV time between the girlfriend's 'Depressing Country Drama' and her killing Guitar Hero III...

I can't WAIT to have this problem.

I'm already getting sick of grinding for bells in Animal Crossing: WW.

Curse you Tom Nook.

-brother n-

Why do I read reviews?

As per my usual week, I grabbed the new 1up show on Sunday and then subsequently the new 1up Yours podcast and enjoyed them both. I drive a lot for work, so I get ample time to listen to re-donk-ulously long podcasts.

The common thing they shared was this weeks big two, Mass Effect and Assassin's Creed. They both have a great way of reviewing games, where it feels like several friends, just talking about what they think. Which is great, IF I have played the game.

Not that 1up is super bad at spoilers or anything, any I feel like any information taken from a credible source tends to taint the pool a bit.

For example, a few months ago, Assassin's Creed was hotly anticipated. A public showing of the game exposed some bugs, which is embarrassing sure, but with months and months until release, who gives a fuck really. But it seemed to realty douse the enthusiasm. Only yesterday I was talking with someone about it and the first thing they said was 'I heard it was buggy'.

Public demos, reviews, previews, betas, fucking SCREENSHOTS, we the gaming public seem to eat it all up, regurgitate the sources opinion, with little to no questioning.

In a reaction to this, I have become self aware of my own ease of influence and now attempt to come at each game with as few preconceived ideas about a game as possible. But for a news junky, gaming press whore like myself, is this totally futile?

Are we so susceptible to influence that our opinion about a game can be changed by a skilled reviewer?

Take this for example: Fancy Pants restaurant, and some food buff tells you "This is the best meal you will ever eat". You switch off your critical brain and say "Yeah! this is the best!" Vise versa, "This food is rank and filled with microscopic germs" and all of a sudden you are on the fucking hunt for those bugs.

-brother n-

Xbox repair status: In a mail depot in NSW, waiting to be sent back to me. Joy.

Things to do while your console is being repaired #1

Play 3 year old games on your aging PC






Too soon?


Ah what ever.

-Brother N-

Withdrawal

So as you can gather, My Xbox 360 is now officially dead.

I boxed it up yesterday and it's now crawling through the Australian mail system. So now I'm in the shitty predicament of being without my primary gaming console.

Day one was pretty effortless, I had a busy work day, got home late and didn't really think about it.
Day two, well, Its been less than fun. I had the whole day at home and now I'm starting to realise how much i relied on the damn thing. I have plenty of other gaming things, ds, ps2, Wii, but man, the 360 sure had a hold of me.

I was greeted with a giggly girlfriend with a copy the new Harry Potter flick...into the ps2 it goes...and boy does it look....fucking terrible. The ps2 is not loving the new tv.

And to make things worse I get a text message today from a friend to arrange some Team Fortress. It cut me deep.

I'm going to go try and relax with some methadone Zelda on the DS.

-Brother N-

Brother N's Microsoft Chatpad review

-Brother N-

Tom Nook is my mount

Animal Crossing Wii is going to be an MMO eh?

Tricky one. I had a lot of fun with Animal Crossing on the DS, it's cutesy pointlessness, endless collection and real world clock gave it an a powerful addictive quality.

The advantage the DS version had over it's Gamecube counterpart was the connectivity. I really dug venturing into other people's towns to get some sweet sweet foreign fruit. It's a really cool concept, but hanging out with two 13 year olds calling each other 'd00d', chasing each other with butterfly nets was not what I wanted from the experience. I scammed their fruit and I was out of there.

I didn't know anyone else with the game, so I jumped on the net, found a chat room, swapped friend codes, added them to my in game friends list, waited for them to open their gates and finally joined. Kind of a lot of work just to gank stuff from prepubescent Ninty fans.

So are Nintendo going to loosen their very strict 'protect the kiddies' policy and let us hook up with randoms? Or are they going to take it in a different direction and stray from the traditional Animal Crossing method?

My theory is Animal Crossing will take Sony's Home route. Each player will have a small town, but all town's are part of a larger world. To make it the 'MMO social network', you'd think there will need to be come kind of central hub. A capital city perhaps?

Either way, I'll be the one in the mad pirate hat, collecting shit, grinding for bells.

-Brother N-

The Red Ring of Death meets the Towel of R♦esurrection

Only hours ago I posted about my 360 getting the Red Ring, but then coming back to life. Well, this arvo, it died proper.

I linked to some Electronic Voodoo Majics, which was actually what's known as the towel trick/method. I thought, eh, It's worth a shot. If it works, super. If it doesn't I'll send it away to get fixed.

So here we go. Here's my poooor box wrapped in a couple towels. Poor box.




Fully Submerged. FRIGHTENING SHIT. After about 10 minutes the fan started to get really loud.




Shazam, it fucking works. Don't know for how long though. Hopefully this will keep me going until the HDMI versions have replaced the standard ones.




So there you go kids, wrap your electronics in a towel and they will magically come back to life. Guaranteed*.


-Brother N-


*Not a guarantee, ya idiot.

Near Red Ring of Death Experience

Stay calm and breath.....1...2....3....exhale.


I sat down yesterday after a standard day of work to have a quick game, to find a horrifying red eye winking back at me. It was the fabled Red Ring of Death. I sat frozen for a second, jaw agape, thinking back to the morning when I had bragged to a friend about my yet to die 360. Come on karma, I was only bragging! I quickly switched it off, hoping that it would just forget about the dramatic hardware failure that had just occurred.

I'm happy that Microsoft are willing to fix it for me, and I realise I could possibly fix it using electronic voodoo majiks, but honestly, it's just a bad time. Inconvenient.

We have Guitar Hero III tomorrow, Assasin's Creed next week and we have a regular crew playing Team Fortress 2 nightly. Not to mention I'm still playing Skate and I really want to get the last few Pinatas that are yet to grace my garden. Not now xbox!

I started to have what seemed to be a near death experience, but instead of thinking about what I had done in my life and what I was going to miss out on, I thought 'What the fuck am I going to do for the next month?'

I thought, maybe now I'll get to finish Bully, Okami, Shadow of the Colossus, Ico, Wind Waker, Phantom Hourglass, etc, etc.

Hell, I could finish some books I have started! I have a couple of comics backed up and hey! I could finish some of those paintings I started a while ago....This could actually be a good thing.

I switched it back on, and you know what? It fucking worked. It is currently working just fine.

I guess I could still do all those things I thought about...Or I could go Demoman for a round and get that Head of the class achievement!

All that stuff will still be there....when this thing eventually croaks.

Maybe I'll stack a bunch of towels next to the TV just in case.....


-Brother N-

Viva La Tragic

I got a cringe of sadness recently reading my regular news feeds. The first reviews of Viva Pinata: Party Animals have started to roll in...and are less than favorable.

It's not that I was looking forward to this game, At all, but the original Viva Pinata is still one of my top 10 games of all time. I could echo it's critical acclaim, but what I want to talk about is when a franchise you love gets mistreated.

Viva was a pretty bad flop, it's kiddy ultra-cuteness smashed face first into the steely facade of the x box fan base. Which really sucks, as it possesses some potent and addictive gooey innards (no more candy puns, promise). So what do you do with a well developed and no doubt costly IP? Turn it into a party game! Yeah!

I realise this isn't a sequel, but it's still as disheartening as seeing a celebrity doing a duet from beyond the grave with some jerk willing to ride their coattails. Or like that god awful remix of Nirvana's Lounge Act by Z Trip from the Skate soundtrack
Pain!
Every sub par iteration slowly erodes the original goodness. And then I have to be that jerk who can't help but say "NO! Viva Pinata IS NOT a party game, in it's ORIGINAL form was a quasi-sim garden/animal cultivation game! Not some trashy mario party knock off to see who can fart a boat down a fucking stream! YOU FUCK!"

And then I get asked to leave the restaurant!

Is there any justice left in the world!


-Brother N-

Sir, I believe this is your arse?

A few days ago I posted about pummeling some newcomers to Team Fortress, and how I was afraid that it may have put them off by being such unrelenting bastards.

Well, I was on the receiving end of that very unrelenting bastardry last night. We were, decimated. Repeatedly. On a variety of maps.

Am I turned off it? Nope. I really doubt the guys we beat would be either. Why?

Because it's so fucking good. For each strategy there is a counter strategy. We saw some sweet new tricks, and now we know them, we can use them.

Guaranteed the dudes we stomped are now scout rushing like motherfuckers.

-Brother N-

Big huge thanks to the one and only Pyre aka Fed-ex for the range of bad ass banners.

Yard work simulator

Now its time for Brother N's Hasty Review!(Patent pending) where your host judges a game entirely on his very limited time with it.

Dynasty Warriors: Gundam
Huh? Ok I admit, I haven't ever picked up a Dynasty Warriors game before, and I pretty much skipped the intro (as soon as I saw the campy talky anime heads and a guy named 'Master Asia' I hammered the start button) but what the fuck am I doing here?
I'm a big robot, and other big robots charge at me, and slice them with my robot sword. Slice slice slice, robot robot robot. Repeat. And then repeat some more.

Call me paranoid, but I'm willing to bet that somewhere in Japan, a tiny robot gardener is being guided by my movements via satellite as he hacks the weeds in the garden of a wealthy Japanese family.

If you like endlessly chopping things, this could well be your game of the year.

-Brother N-